Why I cleaned Windows and Avoided Perfection - Or How to Survive and Get Your Life Back on Track

Back then, I practiced three things

I survived several mistreatments in a hospital before and after my son's birth—purely by sheer luck. I am writing about that time, my experience, and what helped me survive.

When I was feeling bad, but not so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed, I cleaned windows—sometimes just one, sometimes two or three, inside and out. I filled the bucket with hot water, added a splash of dish soap, and got started.

My hands moved slowly but effectively. I wiped the glass dry with a cotton cloth. I aimed to remove the worst dirt: the little dark specks left by flies inside and the dust and grime carried by strong winds and rain outside.

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➔ Back then, I practiced three things:

1. Perfectionism Is Not Necessary: The Window Can Be Clean Without Polishing Away Every Streak

Twice in my life, someone told me that not everything has to be perfect.

Once, my university professor said, “Ms. Juelich, it doesn’t always have to be 100%. 80% is enough.”

The second time, my sales supervisor said the same thing to me. It was about sales numbers and organization—something along those lines. I don’t remember exactly.

At the time, I was the only woman working as an Area Manager in export. I was also expected to handle administrative tasks—a responsibility no man would have had to take. But that’s another story.

As a woman, I had to be better than a man. There was no other option.

I sometimes wonder if my perfectionism made me think that way. But then I remember that I was never invited to export meetings—because they were supposedly “not interesting.”

All my male colleagues, of course, attended as a matter.

So, I had no choice but to push myself even harder.

The circumstances forced me into a search for perfection that eventually suffocated me later on in life. When perfection becomes the standard, you ultimately reach a point where you can’t even start anything anymore.

Why? Because no matter what you do, nothing ever meets your expectations. I still struggle with that, which leads me to procrastinate on almost everything necessary. I am working on it and have improved at accepting that I'm not 100%, but I still have a long way to go.

So next time you clean your windows—or do anything else—don’t try to polish away every streak. Or deliberately leave something undone.

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2. I Am Still Alive, Even If Everything Isn't Perfect.

I had to learn quickly that I still existed, even when I was not functioning at my best.

I was very sick at that time. Physically and mentally. I was incapable of doing anything. I was bedridden most of the time, in severe pain, and had lost nearly all will to live.

And yet, I still existed. I was still breathing. I was still alive.

It wasn’t the life I had imagined or ever planned for. But I was alive. I never thought this could happen to me. I would be someone who lies in bed for years, doing "nothing."

I was sick. I couldn’t do anything. And yet, I still felt guilty.

Guilty for not being perfect. For not being able to contribute. For not being helpful.